Moving on...

It's been a while since my last blog and I apologize for those of you anxiously awaiting my return... Sorry, my sarcasm gets the best of me sometimes :). Anyway, I've been busy getting settled into my new career that I'll be blogging about so you guys can finally have an understanding of my day-to-day, but first I guess I've got to describe my choice and how I landed here.

I've given you the ups and downs of pharmacy school and all the personal struggles I had between me and here. Now for the good stuff! Most of you know by now, I spent the last year completing a residency in Richmond. A lot of you have asked many questions along the way and sometimes it's hard to explain, but I'll do my best. 

A residency is a program you enter post-graduation to gain extra, in-depth, and intensive experiential knowledge in mostly specialized fields. It is equated to about 5 years of working experience. For pharmacy, it's relatively new to the profession even though people have been doing them for 50+ years.  The most traditional programs are in hospitals, but in the past 10-15 years those have expanded to include community and ambulatory care pharmacies.  Of course, true to fashion, I chose the path least traveled and went the community route. For those of you who are curious, community pharmacy is your average pharmacist you see in a CVS or Walgreens.  I know everyone out there is thinking "So you spent an extra year, at less than half pay to learn how to count by 5s better." Well, I hope not because that is most certainly not what I did or currently do. Hence, this lovely blog :)

Once you enter pharmacy school, you start pondering all the job opportunities and career paths you can take. Believe it or not, pharmacy offers a TON of divergent paths to follow post-graduation. Most of us get jobs in the traditional settings of hospitals, Walgreens, etc since residency programs are relatively new to the field and can be a little scarce. Not to mention, the enormous pay differential and crap load of student loans most of us carry. Some enter into graduate school to pursue another type of degree to complement their Pharm.D., and a good proportion of us enter into residencies.  I chose the latter for a lot of reasons.

When it came time to figuring out my career path, I had some confusion and wavering, but ulitmately I knew I wanted to enter into community practice because simply put, I like people. I didn't want to be cooped up in a hospital basement somewhere or rounding in rooms with people who are barely coherent, incredibly grumpy, or just plain sick and tired of being poked and proded by students and providers.  My rotation in this experience, while incredibly enjoyable, only reinforced that fact! I wanted to be able to create lasting relationships with my patients and become a common fixture in their daily lives. I wanted to be a resource for all health care issues, big or small, and see their progression on a daily basis. I love the people I meet at work, even the ones who make me hate my job for the moment. Those stories are the most fun, but I try to keep them at a minimum! 

I have been so lucky to have had a lot of positive influence in this direction. I've been so blessed to have mentors who are experts and educators in community practice and I clearly recall the day I knew this is what I would do.  It was my P2 year and I decided to get a job since I felt I needed to supplement my lifestyle (aka spending habits, ha). My roommate, Kellie, came home one day and told me the CVS down the street was hiring and I should apply. I walked in, asked the pharmacist if he was hiring, and left with the promise of a job. Seems easy enough, haha. Well, it was an adjustment since I was essentially thrown in immediately with the good ol' "sink or swim" philosophy of management! With a couple of uneventful, ho-hum nights under my belt, I went to work on a Saturday to get some extra hours. It was then that I had my first shift with a professor from school. I remember being in absolute awe at the way the patients clung to every word she said, how she seemed to know just EVERYTHING, and the trust that they put into her recommendations. I stopped and thought "I want to do that!". It just clicked after that and I knew I wanted to enter into academia and most importantly community practice after I finished.

Amy would serve as a mentor at work and school for the next 2 years.  Fostering my career choice at VCU was not hard to do considering we had 4 faculty members strictly focused on community practice, a very unique trait. I went into my rotations pretty much convinced I would pursue a residency with community.  UNTIL....the time came to send out applications! I, all of the sudden, became panicked and worried about making the right choices.  Then, my second mentor, our own rockstar of pharmacy (yes, I'm THAT dorky), Kelly Goode said to me a simple comment; "If you want to change pharmacy practice, you'll do a community residency". 

I left the conference we were attending and decided to go for it and haven't ever looked back. The residency started at VCU on July 1 2009 with 4 other incredible ladies and I've never been happier, at least until now :). I've never had a better time learning and realizing important strengths and weaknesses.  The year was amazing, incredible, fun, challenging, hilarious, memorable....I could go on and on. I formed 4 friendships and bonds that will never be broken and spent 12 months with one of the most incredible women I know. You see, incidentally, that mentor during school turned into my preceptor and "boss lady" for the residency. 

During the last year, I participated in so many cool things. I've learned how to create business models that can potentially change the way the CVS' and Walgreens of the world eventually do business. As the only resident in the Kmart corporation, I have continued the tradition of attempting to create patient care programs that could possibly go live to the whole company! I created a research project from scratch and will hopefully publish the results of a smoking cessation study soon. I am working on a research article for MS that will hopefully be published and was able to educate fellow pharmacists on all that is going on with the disease state! I presented a research poster at a national pharmacy organization meeting. I worked 10 feet from the State Dept for 3 weeks while serving as a government affairs intern for a national pharmacy organization! I was able to teach students from my alma mater in both the classroom and experientially! I spent time in a homeless mental health clinic, a predominantly spanish-speaking free medical clinic, and another free clinic that became like a second family to me! That's just peek! Now you might know why I am so bad at returning phone calls..haha. 

The point is, I'm in love with what I do and all the wonderful places it takes me. I hope by giving you guys a glimpse into what I do more frequently, I'll be answering some of your questions and changing your view of pharmacists altogether. After finishing the residency, I was hired by Belmont University in Nashville, TN to do exactly what I've been trained to do in the last year. I've been charged to educate pharmacy students, both in the classroom and the pharmacy, how to create change in a very broken health care system and become competent, confident practitioners. Within my job, I'll be doing some research, working with patients, and maintaining leadership roles as service to my profession.  So far, we are 3 weeks in to the new semester and I'm thrilled with my choices! I have so many people to thank for the support along the way, but hopefully I've done that many times over already. If not, you should know who you are! 

So far, I've taught my first lecture to 75 students, helped make a brand new pharmacy operational for the first day of business and beyond, advised my first group of students, taken on the role of faculty advisor for a student organization, and participated in many other odds and ends of faculty life! I plan to update you frequently on all the exciting stuff I've got going on regularly, but there may be some time in between. It's pharmacy people, not country music ;)

Bumps in the road

There are many things in life that can throw you for a loop and cause you to go completely off course.  I feel that during the past 5 years I've had way too many of those and only the Lord knows how I didn't get lost on my journey to where I am now. Don't get me wrong, I wandered, A LOT! When I reflect now on how I made it, I'm still amazed. 

As I said in my previous post, I moved to Richmond in the summer of 2005 to begin my pharmacy education at VCU. I had a great apartment and a new roommate who would become one of my very best friends, but I absolutely did not want to go. The closer it came the more apparent it was to me that I was going to be struggling with it for a little bit.  It wasn't the move or school, I simply didn't want to leave my boyfriend and family or the life I'd become comfortable with at Virginia Tech. I'd just seen a family fall apart after losing its patriarch in April and I had emotions appear I never knew I was capable of.  Realizing that I had to move forward, I packed up my car and headed northeast in August to begin a new chapter.  Kellie, my new roommate, and I headed to day 1 of orientation convinced we were ready and willing for what lie ahead. Well, at least willing. 

A few short weeks later, I recall sitting on one of the stone benches outside of the pharmacy building on campus feeling more disappointed, uncertain, and desperate than I quite possibly ever had. Recall that chemistry issue from the first post? Well, after receiving a grade on my first Medicinal Chemistry exam that was the lowest in the class of 130 (and lowest of my life), I promptly called my father to tell him I wasn't going to make it and he had better be prepared to come and get me.  I remember all to clearly his words to me that day. They were much more heartwarming than the ones from the "blue van." :) He said "Traci, you can't quit. You aren't a quitter and you've never given up on anything you've set out to do. This is nothing but a bump in the road and I know you can do it."  Those are words that I think I'll always remember. I decided then that I would do everything I could to make it.  That's not to say that there weren't many more days of tears and frustration, followed by moments of fearing I wouldn't be allowed to return to the program once the semester ended.  However, by May, I saw the end of my first year as a pharmacy student and garnered a new nickname by a few of my classmates. "Clutch Poole" was born from those many "skin of my teeth" moments I had and my P1 year brought about a group of amazing new friends, relationships, and a future husband.  I had made it, miraculously. 


By the summer of 2006, I'd headed home to be with my new fiancee and work.  It was then I took my first trip to Las Vegas only to return home to learn that I had been sick with mononucleosis since the middle of the second semester.  I spent the majority of the summer either in the bed sick or completely trashing my body by staying out too late like every other 21 year old I knew.  I also saw the demise of a 5 year relationship happen before my eyes as my 8 month engagement to the love of my life ended a week before I was to start school.  I recall getting in the car and heading to Richmond knowing somehow my life wouldn't ever be the same.  On my way up interstate-81, I received a phone call from my biggest fan, closest friend, and confident; my Aunt Sarah. It'd had been a day or two and the news had spread from family member to family member.  She wanted to check in on me.

We engaged in a conversation for a minute or two only to be abruptly cut off by someone else for an unknown reason.  I say it is unknown because this is the last time I would ever speak to her. You see, I became so angry with her that she would get off of the phone with me during such an important time that I refused to call her and decided to silently fume at her absence in my time of need instead.  Knowing my 22nd birthday was only a few short days away, I would wait for her to call me before I said anything about it. 

On my birthday, Aug 23, I'm accustomed to being awakened by either my mother or father, usually both, around my birth time of 7:45AM (sounds fantastic doesn't it?) followed closely by my Aunt Sarah, who always got up with the roosters. I recall waking up a couple of times that morning and realizing no one had called yet.  Not thinking much of it, I returned to sleep.  My first call on my 22nd birthday came at 9:30ish from my younger brother.  He, unfortunately, was the one who had to tell me that Sarah had unexpectedly passed away early that morning and that was the reason I hadn't heard from anyone. 

Needless to say, the second year of pharmacy school is a blur.  I spent the next few months in what I liken to a fog.  I did all I could, short of illegal chemicals, to make sure my mind was elsewhere.  I threw myself into work and school, hanging out all hours of the night with my friends, and spent entirely too much time in dysfunctional relationships. I spent a large majority of the year ill and had a second confirmed diagnosis of mono by Jan 2007 with various bouts of strep throat and walking pneumonia thrown in.  

It was also the year I rediscovered my love for the entertainment industry and began competing for Miss VA USA.   It was then that I reconnected with a very special individual whom I credit with helping bring me back to the living and making me realize my current state was no way to live a life.  I somehow reached deep down, put my trust and faith in the Lord, and decided to return to being the person I knew I was.  Without getting too personal, I returned to school and decided to refocus on what I was there to do.  It was this attitude that made me realize I was truly where I was meant to be.  


My third year of pharmacy school was by far the most successful, fun, and least stressful of my time in pharmacy school.  Besides some of the residual daily stresses, I truly enjoyed it! It was then I discovered a love for helping those people I saw while working at CVS.  I began to form personal relationships with my patients and began to realize that I was meant to work closely with people and do my best to make a difference.  It became time to consider my options post-graduation and I decided I would follow my mentor, Amy Whitaker, into community practice/academia, which would entail at least a year-long residency program.  


Rotations began in May of 2008. I realized at that moment that all of the hardships I had faced throughout the last few years weren't for nothing and that I was prepared for life as a pharmacist.  I had struggled through and come out on the other end scarred but much wiser.  My first 4 rotations went so well and I gained more confidence as my evaluators reinforced my abilities.  I started to feel worthy and intelligent again.  I began to realize that there was more that I could do to contribute to the lives of others.

As soon as I became comfortable the bumps reappeared.  In Sept 2008, as I was driving back from the Labor Day holiday in SWVA, I wrecked and totaled my car.  By all rights, I shouldn't be here typing this blog.  I was incredibly lucky and came away fairly unscathed.  I recall losing control of the car and thinking to myself, "OK God, I guess this is it" and taking a deep breath to prepare for my impending death.  The moment I realized I was alive, I immediately burst into tears. I couldn't believe I had made it.  Even my precious Beamer was spared.  God wasn't finished with me yet.  There were numerous people who came to my rescue, but the one who sticks out the most is the man who parked his car in front of mine, walked back to my window, and after he realized I was alright stated "I hope you realize who was driving this car today. You are a very lucky young lady and should never forget that God was with you." 


I returned to rotations a week later and nursed my bumps and bruises for a couple of weeks.  I was preparing for the Miss VA USA competition again and had incredibly high hopes that I would take it all that year.  Of course, my gown had been completely destroyed in my car accident (are we seeing a pattern of luck yet?), but it didn't matter, I was focused and ready.  So focused and ready that I missed the big family gathering in Knoxville, TN for the Florida/UT football game.  My father's entire side of the family got together, which is an unusual thing for the Poole's.  It was probably one of the only times in my adult life that it actually pained to miss something with my family.  I had no idea how much I would regret my workaholic tendencies until about 2 weeks later.


On October 11, 2008, my family was ripped apart with grief by my older brother, David's, suicide.  I will never, in my life, forget the phone call from my Daddy at 11:30PM and hearing the agony in my mother's voice in the background as he gave me the news. I drove home through the night to SWVA not caring about any of the obligations that lie ahead of me for the following week of rotation.  Once the funeral services were over and we were forced back into our old lives without David, I moved forward and pretended everything was OK. I competed in Miss VA 1 week after my brother's death at the urging of my family and was named 1st runner up.  I returned to school and work as if nothing had happened.  I was tough, I could handle anything.  Until February 2009.  It was a lonely night on my couch, after an argument with my ex, and the sudden realization came that I had just had all I could take.  I called my family and informed them that if they didn't come to get me, I would be quitting school.  This was 6 weeks before I was to finish (crazy, I know). Apparently having some foresight this would happen, I  had pre-arranged my last rotation to be in Wise so that I could spend time with my family before graduation.  This was to start in 2 weeks, but that was too long. I needed to leave and I needed it to be then.  My best friend drove down from Fredericksburg and held my hand until my Mom, Dad, and dogs arrived at 3AM.  I bowed out, not-so-graciously, of the rest of my current rotation, packed up my 2 bedroom apartment in 2 days, completed a residency interview in North Carolina, and headed to SWVA not sure where or what my next step would be.   


Since this post is quite long and my Lola is incessantly growling at an unknown "intruder" (aka the A/C blowing my bedroom door), I'm going to leave you with that. It's a good time to begin a post regarding the next phase of my education and journey to Nashville, anyway. I hope everyone is enjoying reading these and I promise they will become more relevant and most importantly, shorter, once I start blogging about my daily activities as a faculty member :).


Goodnight all. 

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Giving up and giving in

Since I graduated from pharmacy school last May, people have been asking me where I decided to finally start my career now that I was done. Since I chose a path in pharmacy that isn't exactly the common public image of a pharmacist, I typically get puzzled looks and questions after answering, even by those in other related health care fields. So much so, that now when people ask I began to simply put them off by saying it's too complicated to explain.  Last week after starting my new job and being inundated with questions, I realized that it is in my, and my colleagues, best interest to educate those who care about what I do. After all, I chose to spend my day teaching students how to educate the public on a new image of the pharmacist in your community. I began to think about the best way to communicate this to the people who love me and with much thought and consideration and being frustrated by not being able to define what it is I have done with my career, I came to the conclusion that blogging daily would be the optimal way to let the people who care enough to know what it is exactly I do everyday.

I suppose I should start with the beginning. I started my higher education at Virginia Tech in the fall of 2002 with every intention to go to pharmacy school once I became an alum-Hokie with a degree in Biology. I know, I know...I'm one of those. I have known since I was 14 that I would pursue pharmacy as a career and really have no idea why other than my father mentioned it to me once in a conversation in the "big blue van". You see, I started as every wide-eyed, scientifically-inclined, small town child does. I wanted to be a doctor! Not just any doctor, an orthopaedic surgeon to be exact. Again, no clue why other than I thought I'd get to work on athletes and their knees all day, not really understanding all that medical school and surgical residencies implied.  Thus, my career path was set after a brief comment from my father that went something like "ya know, you ought to think about pharmacy" to which I replied "alright". Groundbreaking and heartwarming, I know. 

BUT....and this is a big BUT...most people don't realize that it was a struggle, putting it mildly, to the end. One that I still can't believe I overcame. You see, as I began my freshman year at VT, I realized I wasn't quite the stellar student I always thought I was :). General chemistry and it's accompanying lab, as well as my super-fantastic calculus course that was taught on the computer in an emporium of 100s of other students, were NOT my forte. By my second semester of college, I was convinced that Communications was my destiny.  

That summer, after much urging from my Great Aunt Nancy, was spent working at her company four 10hr days a week, at minimal pay, with my best friend in the world all while feeling as though I worked on an assembly line. Fall of my sophomore year brought my first apartment and all the amazing experiences it brings to a 19 year old.  The semester was filled with wonderful nights with my three roommates, doing my best to not be homesick for my high school sweetheart, and despising Organic chemistry with fervor.  Again, convinced communications was my future, I somehow trudged on! There were many Thursday nights forfeited with my friends because of 8AM classes and multiple breakdowns in tears secondary to just not understanding why I couldn't tell you what an S-enantiomer was. At this point, you must be asking "so why didn't you switch?" Oddly enough, I think can say that it was probably because I was either too lazy or too intimidated to to find the right building or fill out the form. 

Another summer came filled with 40hr work weeks, my best friend switching her major to education, dreading the physics courses ahead in my Biology coursework, and desperately wanting the distance between be and my "beau" to be gone.  All of the above made me apply and actually schedule classes and living arrangements at East Tennessee State. Nursing was my calling and being a nurse anesthetist was it!!!  The weird thing was I never called to tell Tech that I was withdrawing and transferring. It came down to the week I was leaving before I decided I would inevitably be moving back to Blacksburg. At this point, I realized there was no use in fighting it, pharmacy was going to be it. I gave in and gave up! I'd invested too much time, stress, and money into something to start over now. I would complete my degree and if I hated it, I would go back for something else.

I returned to Tech for my junior year with no real place to live and no clue what I was going to do. My roommates had previous plans and I was homeless. I scheduled courses Tues-Thurs and commuted back and forth to Abingdon each week. I was lucky to have found wonderful people to share those few nights with when I was actually in the "burg" and spent only one weekend there the entire year. That was, interestingly enough, the weekend I interviewed for pharmacy school at in Richmond. 

In Aug, I decided I would use the current, not so hot PCAT scores and GPA I had and attempt to gain admission to the VCU School of Pharmacy in Richmond, VA. I decided that this round would be practice and if i didn't get in I'd just pursue it again more seriously the following year.  I wasn't ready to leave my friends anyway! I remember thinking and  was partially convinced that if I could just get an interview, I'd woo them into thinking I was a decent enough student to be admitted :). Thinking there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I'd be considered, I was called to interview in November and the letter of acceptance arrived around 3 weeks later as I arrived home for the Christmas holidays. 

I began pharmacy school with the rest of Class of P2009 at VCU in the fall of 2005 and the rest, as they say, is history.  I like to think it was fate/destiny, whatever you call it. Now that I'm on the other side of the saga, I can say that God is 100% responsible for where I am today.  There were too many hurdles for me to get here on my own and I'm, quite honestly, not that strong to endure it. Since this blog is very long, tedious, and I'm sure boring to those of you who know this story or don't care, I will continue at a later date. I am hoping that by giving those of you who are a reading a background of my choice, you will understand how I've come to be in this position. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5